Cruises? Not for Me

NaBloPoMo Prompt: Where is the one place you would never want to go on vacation that other people seem to love?

My in-laws are the king and queen of cruises. They can tell you which ships to take, who has the best food, the best casinos and the best excursions. They cruise over to Europe and fly back and vice versa. They give such an enthusiastic pitch for taking a cruise, that they seriously should get paid by the cruise line. Even after hearing their stories of the places cruises have allowed them to see, I just don't get the appeal.

1. In my defense, I get sea sick. I would need to be on Dramamine the entire time, which would mean I would be sleeping the trip away.

2.  The thought of not being able to see any land kind of freaks me out.

3. Rogue waves. Google it.

4. Mystery cruise illnesses. It happens all of the time. 

5. Mingling. I am not a mingler, and don't do well with small talk. I would rather eat in my room than sit a table with strangers and engage in forced chit chat.

The only cruise I would slightly consider taking, is the New Kids On The Block cruise. Have you heard of this?  You and hundreds of other thirty-something suburban moms go on a cruise with the NKOTB boys. Joe McIntrye was my number one crush during the New Kids' boy band reign.  I have attended two NKOTB concerts as an adult and it was ridiculously fun.  I would don the motion sickness bands and down my Dramamine to hang with those Boston boys.  

Ok, so I probably wouldn't.

I will go on a cruise right now. I will spin around so I feel motion sick, drink something fruity, turn on 'Hangin' Tough' (now it's the NKOTB cruise!), and throw a cup of water in my face to simulate the rouge wave that is probably going to strike the ship. Surely that is the same experience, right?!